he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
