i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
