dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
