I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
