Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
