just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
