My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
