He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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