This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
