I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just cropdusted the office
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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