I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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