My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
