Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
