I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I could have mohawked her pubes.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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