I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
