And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
