just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My breasts were aching with rage.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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