just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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