Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
