you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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