Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
