At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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