i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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