I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we're making bets on your personal life
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
