i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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