i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
