Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
NoShamevember. You game?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
