Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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