There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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