508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
