4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
