He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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