Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
