At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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