The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
