Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize