Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize