"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
