Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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