I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
