nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
do herpes really smell.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize