Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
