whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
