I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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