whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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