I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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