another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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