I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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