Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I forgot wine drunk hurts
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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