so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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