im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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