You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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