He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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