i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
