I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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