I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
