You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
