I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
