I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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