Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
